Should white people apologize to Native Americans?

Should white people apologize to Native Americans for what historical events?

I have been thinking about this question after 4 1/2 years of working with Native Americans. I've read historical account and seen films like "Bury my Heart at Wounded Knee." There is evidence, studies, and historical accounts that show the negative impacts of government assimilation policy, boarding schools, broken treaties, and cultural genocide. Those are historical facts and the consequences to those events are long lasting. They are seeing in the poverty on Indian reservations, alcoholism, reliance on welfare, low self esteem, loss of language and culture, suicide rates, loss of sacred land, and loss of cultural foundations. The consequences for those events will continue. I think that all Americans should mourning the loss of the rich cultural, linguistic, and spiritual heritage. I mourn the awful things that happened because it hurts God's heart when people are mistreated.

Should white people apologize for the actions of the government? I think the responsibility of citizens, in a general sense, to stand up for those who need help and to stand up for justice. There is no shortage of pain in the world. All you have to do is look at your front door in order to see it. What is our responsibility to our fellow human beings? That is something you have to wrestle with in your own heart.

I've seen white people, when introduced to my Native friends, say "I'm sorry my people took your land." or "One of their ancestors was Indian." Why do they feel compelled to apologize straight away when meeting a Native individual? Why do we bring a load of "white guilt" to the table?

I have wrestled with this question in my own heart and the conclusion that I've come to is that in ministry, or any kind of humanitarian work, you cannot be motivated by pity. I cannot be motivated out of my own guilt. That is selfishness and it is based on making myself feel better.

As a Christian I should be motivated out of love. I should be motivated to help people because I love the Lord and that is what He has called me to do. I cannot look at my coworkers, friends, and neighbors and feel sorry for them. I have to look at my coworkers as people who are capable who deserve respect.


As an individual, what can I do? I can't change the past but I can change the future. I can either be part of the problem, by focusing on what's wrong, or I can be part of the solution and to help the Choctaws reach their language and education goals. I can offer  help when I am able, like giving friends a ride. I do this out of love.

Can you really serve somebody if you feel sorry for them? I see myself as a partner. I have skills and gifts that God has given me. I can use those in partnership with the Choctaw language program.  I found that I've been blessed by the honesty, humor, and energy of the people around me. I am secure in my heritage as a daughter of Christ and I understand where my own roots are. Because of that I can appreciate the identity of others and their perspective on the world. 

Leonard, my pastor, told me but he doesn't hold the stuff in the past against his white friends because he just wants to live his life each day he doesn't want to focus on the past. He said that's not what he wants from life. He wants to spend time with his grandchildren, enjoy meals with friends, and earn a living. He can't do that if he's busy blaming other people for stuff that happened.

Look at your own heart.  Focus on what you can do to show God's love to people around you instead of dwelling on the past. I'm not saying that those things are awful, or the thing never happened. I'm saying that those things can't be changed. Historical events should be learned from and so we can avoid making the same mistakes again

Thoughts on Decluttering - my relationship with my stuff

I wrote the following post for Reddit, /r/declutter. You can read it here.

Some changes were made for clarity.

Part One

My resolution this year is to stay on top of the clutter in my house - move things on when I'm done, put things away, and clean up after myself.

My Momma told me this my entire childhood: clean up after yourself. I told my students when I was an elementary teacher to "Clean up your space." It's that simple, right?

I stay by myself with four pets, so my situation may be different than mine. I work full time and I'm working on my PhD.

I look around my house and what do I see? My work space (the dining room table) is piled with papers, books, and office supplies. In the kitchen there are boxes of cereal and coffee on the counter, dishes in the sink, and an empty box of dog treats. In the bathroom there are make-up palettes on the sink and a pile of dirty laundry. In my bedroom there's a laundry basket of clean, unfolded clothing.

The cause of my clutter is my own laziness, distractability, and failure to follow through. My biggest issue in my home, and the rest of my life, is avoidance.

When I come home from school I walk the dogs, cook, have dinner, and read. The last thing I want to do is clean. So I end up with the clutter and mess mentioned above, and it adds up every single day.

So what do I need to do differently? I need to wash my dishes after each meal and put food items away. I need to put my make-up back in the drawer when I'm done. I need to clean the litter boxes. I need to do a little bit each day.

As I've worked on my avoidance issue, I've noticed my home is more a home. I'm returning emails right away, answering text messages, and calling my parents more often. I feel much more calm and in charge when I have a tidy work environment and I am much more focused in my studies.
I hope to keep improving in this as the year goes on!

PartTwo

I've been thinking about the reasons people have for clutter and messiness, and also the reasons people have for strict cleanliness and order. There's some truth in how our surroundings reflect our inner thought lives. Also, the kind of home we grow up in impacts our relationships with out belongings and our surroundings. 

 

I grew up in a busy household. My Dad worked long hours in a medical practice and the hospital. My Mom worked as a nurse and raised 4 children. I shared a room with my sister, who is very tidy, and I had a sense that I didn't have my own "space" and that any "space" that I claimed (even a shelf) would be taken over. One of the reasons I am clutter-y, perhaps, is subconsciously claiming my home as my own space. The consequences of that is described over and over.I can only speak for myself, of course. It's been and it continues to be an interesting journey.

Part 3

I've been reading articles about decluttering and organizing. There are whole magazines devoted to it and stores devote entire sections to organization containers. What strikes me about this is that often the articles fail to address the thinking behind habits, and also how long it takes to change habits.
If you've been tossing your shoes in a pile beside the closet door, a fancy shoe rack isn't going to change your habit right away. (Or will it?)

There are two TV shows about hoarders. One of them requires the hoarder to confront mountains of stuff and have their home cleaned out in a weekend. At some point, the person breaks down. Of course they do! The stuff represents safety or protection.

Have you noticed that those folks usually experienced some trauma or abuse before they began hoarding? A child died, they lost their job, or they were in a major accident. It is a great disservice to these individuals to take away what is essentially their protective shell without giving them an opportunity to work through their trauma.

In some circumstances their home is so bad that it's a health and safety risk. That's a different issue, of course, and I wouldn't wish for anyone to be in a home full of mold or without running water.
The second show I watched allows the people to work through their "stuff" with the help of family, friends, and an organizer. They also have access to counseling. One man took 1 grocery sack of trash out of his home and that was a big step for him. In the follow-up, he communicated that he worked more and more, and saw the progress, which motivated him to do more and more.

These are extreme cases. I think it illustrates how change in the physical environment has to take place in the head and heart.

What do y'all think?

Tips for safe winter travel

Fortunately, I got to travel with Andrew this Christmas!

So you’re going on a long-distance trip by yourself? I travel long distances by myself often, up to 900 miles! I keep myself alert with coffee and I enjoy listening to audiobooks. Safety is a concern for sure. Here are a few things you need to know if you're traveling alone this winter.

1.       Be aware of your surroundings. If you think that a car might be following you try making a few unnecessary twists or turns while maintaining knowledge of where you are. If the car makes the same twists and turns than you can safely assume that it is following you. Do not under any circumstances stop driving or allow the driver to pull up beside you. Drive to the nearest police station or a busy gas station. 

2.       If you plan on driving long distances make sure your phone is fully charged. Make sure friends and family know where you are. Call and check in with them every few hours and inform them of any car problems.

3.       Keep an emergency kit with you. It should contain a basic first aid kit (bandages, tape, etc.). Also include food and water along with blankets, hats, and gloves. If your car breaks down pull over and call for help. If someone offers to help stay in your car and roll down your window a few centimeters-just enough to tell the person that help is on the way. No matter how friendly the person seems to be stay in your car. 

4.       Being a woman and driving alone attracts the attention of all kinds of people. If someone is trying to get your attention on the road it is safest not to respond. Do not assume that all unmarked vehicles with flashing lights are police cars if you are not sure pullover into the next well lit area such as a gas station. 

5.       If you are planning on driving in wintry weather check the weather conditions before you set out. Let others know your route, destination, and estimated time of arrival just in case. You should also make sure that your gas tank is always at least half-full to avoid the gas line freezing up. If you get snowbound stay with your car do not walk in the storm it is too easy to get lost. Use whatever is available to insulate your body from the cold.

6.       Stay awake by stopping every few hours to get out of the car and move around. Drink water and/or caffeinated beverages. 

Be aware and be prepared. This will help keep you safe while you’re traveling this winter!

New Year De-Cluttering

Image Source

I wanted to share some suggestions for de-cluttering to start 2015 out right. As you  know, de-cluttering is process and the process of moving extra stuff often allows us to clear our minds. 

My Mom recommends getting a laundry basket. Start in one room and collect the items that don’t belong in that room. Go to the next room.  Put away the items that belong there and collect items that don’t belong. Continue around your house until you’ve done all the rooms. 

Things to do:

1.       Update your family medical information

2.       Update your family emergency contact list.

3.       Gathering up documents that you’ll  need to do taxes

Kitchen:

1.       Check the expiration dates on spices and make a list of spices to replace.

2.       Do you have condiments (salad dressing, ketch-up, etc.) lingering in your fridge? Check the expiration dates and discard the ones past their prime. Make a list of condiments to replace.

3.       Look in the freezer. Make a list of food items and plan meals.

4.       Look in the cabinets. Discard food that are expired. Make a list of food items and plan meals.

5.       Replace staples that are running low (flour, sugar, salt, etc.)

6.       Check your cleaning products. Make a list of products to replace. Make sure cleaning products are out of reach of children.

7.       Discard or recycle broken dishes, odd lids and containers

Bedroom

1.       Check the elastic on your sheets. Get elastic clips to keep the corners around the edge of the mattress if you need to.

2.       Wash blankets if you need to.

3.       Do you need to replace your pillows?

Closet & Closet

1.       Ladies – put your old panty hose to use in other ways.

2.       Match as many random socks that you can, put the “orphans” to use for cleaning and dusting.

3.       Toss old undies.  Replace the ones that you need.

4.       Put anything that needs to be mended in a bag.  Sometime this week get out a sewing kit and make repairs and replace lost buttons. If sewing isn’t your thing you can take your items to a tailor.

5.       Go through your closet and pull out clothing items that you haven’t worn in the past few years. Donate or repurpose them. At this point, just get out things that “aren’t you.”

6.       Tidy the items that are on hangers.

7.       Collect scarves, belts, and other accessories in one place.

8.       Collect jewelry items in one place. Make repairs to jewelry if you’re able. Use broken or mismatched jewelry for repurposing or crafts.

Notes – There are different systems for de-cluttering and organizing your closet. Use a system that works for you.

Don’t feel compelled to hold onto the weird jacket your mother-in-law gave you for Christmas. Write a thank-you note and quietly send it on to a new home.

Bathroom

1.       Use up the shampoo and conditioner that’s lingering in bottles. You can use it to fill travel size toiletry containers.

2.       Donate lotions, body washes, and other toiletries that aren’t your scent.

3.       Replace family toothbrushes

4.       Check the medicine cabinet. Gather medications that you don’t need anymore. Many pharmacies will dispose of medications for you.

5.       Restock your family first aid kit with band aids and pain relievers.

Living Room

1.       Return DVDs and CDs to their cases.

2.       Check under the sofa for lost items.

3.       Wash throw blankets

Pets

1.       Wash pet blankets and bedding

2.       Discard toys that are broken

Other

1.       Return items that you borrowed from family members (dishes, clothing, DVDs, books)

2.       Donate or recycle your old cell phone

3.       Discard expired coupons

4.       Send in rebate forms

5.       Collect all your change in one container. Take it to the bank.

The New Year is a great time to get a fresh start! Once you get started cleaning and de-cluttering, you'll feel motivated to continue.