Lord, make me an instrument of your peace,
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
Where there is injury, pardon;
Where there is doubt, faith;
Where there is despair, hope;
Where there is darkness, light;
Where there is sadness, joy.
O Divine Master,
grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled, as to console;
to be understood, as to understand;
to be loved, as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive.
It is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
and it is in dying that we are born to Eternal Life.
Amen.
The past two weeks have been rough. I had a bout with anxiety that kept me from really functioning. It's happened a few times before - during my last months in Ukarumpa, after my first year of graduate school, and in 2011 when I crash landed in Dallas on medical leave.
What is it like to have an anxiety attack? Imagine that you are afraid of something that you cannot see, you can only feel. Imagine that your world shrinks down to feelings of loneliness and helplessness.
Then, imagine that you slowly start feeling like yourself again.
I am grateful for my counselor, Cindy, and my Mom for helping me to work through each day and see things for what they are.
I've been thinking about the Prayer of St. Francis.
Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.
An instrument is a tool that is used for a specific purpose. When we ask God to use us, we must put aside certain comforts and be prepared to make sacrifices. We have to "get out of His way" and realize that we our His vessel.
God calls us to love one another. The command is so simple, but is the hardest thing to do. Love one another? Love, when we don't feel like loving? I'm still wrapping my mind around this.
How can I be an "instrument of God's peace" today? I can offer words of encouragement and kindness. I can offer people the "benefit of the doubt." I can make the world a kinder place to live.
