Prayer Update

It’s been a busy & blessed summer!

Here’s what I’ve been up to.

Dissertation Writing:

I’ve been working diligently on my dissertation “Choctaw Tribal School Instructional Aides’ Perceptions of Preparedness for Implementing Choctaw Language Materials in Elementary Classrooms.” I’m reading books about Native American and Choctaw history, language revitalization, and early childhood language learning pedagogy. In addition, I am analyzing data gathered during trips to Choctaw language classes during the spring semester.

My hope is that my dissertation will provide insight for the Tribal Language Program staff as they continue to write and develop the Choctaw language curriculum and teacher training.

I am continuing my partnership with the Choctaw Tribal Language Program. I’m helping in any way that I can with the planning, implementation, and evaluation of different programs for the Choctaw Language Instructors.

Mission Team Visit:

In July a mission team from Otterbein UB Church in Greencastle, PA visited Choctaw, MS to serve with Corinth Baptist Church in the Tucker Community. Corinth Baptist Church has asked for help preparing the building site for their new church building.

The team, in partnership with Hope Indian Baptist Church hosted a concert called Rockin’ the Rez. Holding a concert has been a dream of Leonard’s for many years. Groups from Pennsylvania and Mississippi performed. Pastor Reinhart from the Mennonite Church shared a short message and Chief Anderson shared an opening prayer.

Upcoming Events:

Fall 2015 semester - I hope to defend my dissertation and graduate from Jackson State University in December 2015. Please pray that God will give me supernatural wisdom and insight as I analyze data. Please pray for my dissertation committee.

I am guiding students in one eight-week online class for JSU – EDCI 220 Teaching and Learning Styles for Young Children

October 2015 – SIL North America’s retreat in Bellingham, Washington.

Would you like to be part of my ministry team?

Please send tax deductible donations to:

Wycliffe Bible Translators, Inc.

PO Box 628200 • Orlando, FL 32862

*Enclose a note that says “Gift for the ministry of Abigail Farmer. Account #285943”

Call 1-800-WYCLIFFE

No buy July (so far)

Project 333 is off to a good start. I'm also doing an "unshopping challenge" with Yerdle. All this came together with a low bank balance and high student loans.

I gave myself a little leeway because (1) I live in MS and it's HOT. I change clothes when I get home from work. I also play sports so I have extra workout clothes on hand. (2) I'm starting a new job I'm the Fall and don't know what my job "uniform" will be.

Insight: I impulse buy online. It's amazing how often I get on Amazon and want, want, want. Hmm. 

I need to purchase new underwear eventually since some of mine are losing their integrity.

Books & audio books. I have 1 Audible credit/month and Kindle unlimited. I'm working on the books on my shelf. I know some of them.can go but I'm not ready to let them go. Hmmm. (Food for thought).

I like that everything in my closet matches.  I like having less visual clutter in my room.  I love skipping the mall for mindless wandering. 

And finally: gratitutious photo of Duncan

Minimalism Ideal vs. Reality

I’ve been reading about minimalism, capsule wardrobes, and other experiments with the “less is more” philosophy. Like everything else I skip along and learn a lot along the way.  (Directions? Ha!)  

Minimalism ideal

There are some cool minimalist guides that recommend following some stunningly drastic minimalist measures like (1) donate or sell all your stuff, (2) limit your earthly belongs to what will fit in a shoebox, (3) light your house on fire. Even straightforward guides for sensible capsule wardrobes were giving me anxiety. 

I think that extreme minimalism is an ideal and I applaud the families who have achieved that level of freedom from materialism. Y’all are cool. I’m just not there yet. 

My relationship with stuff

I did some soul searching about my relationship with stuff. When I was in college I had boxes in my (then) boyfriend’s garage, some stuff in corners of my parents’ basement, in the trunk of the car, a pile of stuff for vacation and other stuff for my summer camp job. I felt …scattered.  A friend asked me, “What is it about your stuff that you’re so attached to?”  It wasn’t the “stuff” itself – a sewing machine from the 1970s, flannel sheets and a box of office supplies?  

What bothered me at that point, deep down, was the unsettling feeling of being constantly in transition. I felt like I was missing the security of a constant resident. Instead I felt like pieces of me were pushed into corners, left behind, and divided. Realizing that helped me to examine the deeper emotional sea change. 

Home Sweet Home

I’ve lived in my house since 2013. I love having a house because I can put a nail in the wall and be completely responsible for it. Sure there’s the matter of property tax, replacing that pesky roof, and the ugly kitchen fixtures. But I embrace that because I have one address and to me this is home.

Yeah, I have a house full of stuff. Generous friends and family gave me items for my house and I’ve purchased some things. The things in my kitchen came from my Mom. I have family treasures my Dad generously passed on to me. 

The goal I would like to achieve is a home full of things that are beautiful and useful. 

Project 333 prep

I came across the Project 333 and it just made sense. I plan to start the 33 piece wardrobe in July. You choose 33 clothing items and wear them for 3 months in different combinations. I'll discuss that in more detail in another post.

This is my plan for the next few days :

1. Put a few items of clothing into storage bags or hang them in the guest room closet. Putting 3 blouses in another closet is a lot LESS scary than putting it all in a bag for GoodWill.
2. Donate or discard clothes that don’t fit or look dumb. My sister is the long-suffering recipient of boxes of flotsam. 
3. Sort through the piles of stuff I have around the house. Sort them into categories like “office supplies” and “craft stuff.” 
4. List things I’m not using on Yerdle (If you want to sign-up click here)

  Clearer Thinking

Why am I embracing this chaos in the middle of dissertation writing?  Because having a clearer space around me is actually helping my thinking.  

By removing  extraneous stuff I hope to make my home a peaceful, welcoming place where I can focus on what's important.

Updates to follow! 

Cats are content with a cardboard box.

Dissertation Writing, Writing, Writing

Psalm 126:6

Those who go out weeping, carrying seed to sow, will return with songs of joy, carrying sheaves with them.

During my last week in Papua New Guinea (2007) I was struggling with a lot of questions. I was dying inside with burnout, I was perpetually sick, and I didn't know what the future held. My friend Laura sat down with me and read Psalm 126 to me and I felt like that Psalm was written just for me.


Carrying seed to sow - There's a lot of planting and harvest imagery in the Bible. Anyone who has planted a tiny garden or a full field understands the concepts involved: preparing the soil, planting seeds, watering, and waiting for God to do the rest. In the ground is where the seeds germinate and eventually break through the soil.Painful times require prayer and persistence. These are times that build our faith as we choose to say, "God, I don't know what's happening, but give me strength to keep moving forward." 

Songs of joy - Harvesting is a time of hard work, but it's also a time of celebration.  Seeing how your work has produced a harvest gives us cause for celebration, praise, and gratitude. 

Dissertation Writing - My specific work right now is reading journal articles, data analysis, and typing page and after page. I send drafts off to be proof-read, I get them back with changes. Meanwhile I am going through a range of emotions from anger and doubt to hope and the joy of discovery.  Deep down there's a humming tenacity that I know God has given me to persist until this is completed. 

I know that God is building my faith right now. I am maturing during the process because I'm learning deeper levels of patience and peace. I know God's using this to help me become more like Him. My dream is to be a college professor and this process is preparing me for assisting future students. 

Thoughts from a Christian with Generalized Anxiety Disorder

Cave Diving 
 
The first time I really understood that what I was feeling was anxiety was in 2009 when I was in graduate school.  I was trying to process the knowledge that I wasn't healthy enough to return to Papua New Guinea to work in a remote village allocation.  I woke up shaking.  I had to mentally berate myself to get up, get dressed, and go to class.  I felt like my brain was constantly in "fight or flight mode" - even when the stresses I was responding to were relatively mundane. 

I've continued to have horrible bouts of depression and anxiety over the years.  Some of these are because of extremely stressful life circumstances (doctoral program, anyone?) or because the medication I take was out of balance.  

To me, anxiety feels like being sucked into an underwater cave where it's dark, you can't breathe, and there's no real sense of what way's up.  Elements of anxiety are feeling isolated, panicked, and out of control.  When I feel this way I have to basically put my life on hold until things come back into balance. (On the worst days going to the store for milk can feel like a journey to Siberia.)

Hold the Guilt

Let me get straight-up honest here.  Something that makes anxiety worse is well intentioned Christians telling me, "You shouldn't be anxious. You know the Lord." 

Some of the greatest, strongest men and women in the Bible experienced anxiety and depression: King David, Elijah, and Simon-Peter. Telling a Christian to not have anxiety is ludicrous and it piles on guilt because it implies that we must be doing something wrong.  Anxiety isn't something that we can turn on and off with a switch.  

Support and Encouragement

If your loved one is experiencing severe anxiety please be understanding and patient.  Don't minimize their feelings or push them to do more than they're able to.  Encourage them to continue following the directions of their health care provider (including taking medication consistently).  Encourage your loved one to do manageable activities like taking a short walk.  Pray with them. Pray for wisdom for yourself.

After conversations with my counselor and friends who also have anxiety / depression, I learned some helpful responses to folks asking about anxiety:

1. The bodies we live in are corrupt. Christians are not immune to illness like the flu, diseases, or cancer. Our minds are corrupt as well.  No person on earth is free from pain, suffering, or loss. The symptoms of living in a fallen world come in different manifestations.

2. Taking anti-anxiety medication isn't a "crutch" or sign of lack of faith. This stigma is unhelpful and inaccurate. Would you tell a Christian with diabetes to skip their insulin? 

3. God has a purpose in everything. Having anxiety has allowed me to be more understanding and compassionate. Desperate, lonely times when all I can say is, "God, help me!" are times I've felt His presence the most. I realize that I need to rely on Him completely. 

God is Good

 A verse that has given me great comfort is:

Proverbs 3:5-6 (AMP)

⁵ Lean on, trust in, and be confident in the Lord with all your heart and mind and do not rely on your own insight or understanding.

⁶ In all your ways know, recognize, and acknowledge Him, and He will direct and make straight and plain your paths.

I know that whatever the world throws at me God is there for me. He will lead and guide me each step of the way.

Knowing that I'm not alone makes the biggest difference in dealing with GAD.  I don't have an easy solution, but I do know that God has given me tools to deal with difficult times.  For that I am eternally grateful.

Kitty Nuggets has a way of showing how I feel sometimes.

Summer Projects and Plans

Now that Memorial Day has come and gone, it's officially summer!

Time to relax on the porch with a good book?  Not so much! 

Here's a quick rundown of what's happening the next few months!

Jackson State University

I am working diligently on my dissertation!  I'm reading books about Native American and Choctaw history, language revitalization, and early childhood language learning pedagogy.  In addition I am analyzing data gathered during trips to Choctaw language classes during the Spring semester.

This week I'm going to begin teaching at Hinds Community College. (More information to follow.)

Choctaw Bible Translators

Choctaw Bible Translators is a wonderful organization and I'm blessed to have the opportunity to work with them. We're preparing for the annual Choctaw Indian Fair where we share Choctaw language materials with visitors from all over the area.

Otterbein Mission Trip

In June a group from Otterbein UB Church in Greencastle, PA will be visiting Choctaw, MS to serve with Corinth Baptist Church in the Tucker Community. We're planning with great anticipation a concert called Rockin' the Rez, working with Corinth to clear the land for their new building, and lots of fun get-togethers. It'll be hot, of course, but we're ready!

Choctaw Tribal Language Program

I am continuing my internship with the Choctaw Tribal Language Program.  I'm helping in any way that I can with the planning, implementation, and evaluation of different programs for the Choctaw Language Instructors.

Arts Efforts

I am very excited about continuing to make jewelry items. Here's a few projects I've been working on!

Memorial Day Weekend was Awesome

I was in Charlotte, NC over Memorial Day weekend. I had an amazing time relaxing with my brother, Andrew, and sister, Elizabeth.

I'm so blessed to have such amazing, supportive siblings!